The Latest Twisted News…
Stupid is as Stupid Does
Good morning campers. Here's hoping you're all having a wonderful day. As many of you know summer is coming up and it is the traditional time for weddings. Many people, clearly having missed the memo on my love life, ask me for ideal wedding gifts. Women are easy to buy for; expensive jewelry and chocolates are never discarded. But what about the guys? There's only so much beer and porn seems inappropriate for this occasion. Luke … [Read More...]
NEXT: Robo-Terrorist Poetry
War is a hellacious thing. People die, lives are destroyed, countries fall, economies collapse and those directly involved never see sunrises the same way again. But out of war often comes great technological and medical advances. I am the beneficiary of one such advance. In 1975 I got a new kneecap and had my joint stapled back together and a few other, now common, modifications. I mention that they are now common because when I … [Read More...]
Pee, Poo & You
There are a lot of things that interest you. Zookeepers who lick monkey butts make you smile. Holiday Air Sex just brightens your day. Even the most basic reference to mammaries will get me a ton of happy emails. In other words, I could just stick to what I know and no one would complain. But, you know me, I'm a rebel. So, while it is true that I once ventured into the realm of singing toilets, I have never gone as far as I am … [Read More...]
That Annoying Truth Stuff
Back in 2008, with nothing better to do, the Colfax Record, a digital compendium of local stories and discount coupons focused on the wonderful world of Colfax California (Emma and Bob got engaged last week), tossed an article on their site about same sex marriage. It appears to have been meant as a sane look at historical fact. The author wasn't credited and the original has since been removed. But, thanks to the internet, the … [Read More...]
The O-BOMB-A Yesterday
North Carolinians flocked to the polls in droves to, once and for all, put an end to the looming specter of millions of gays and lesbians descending on Raleigh and holding an orgiastic Bacchanal featuring Ricky Martin songs, lesbian folk music and public sodomy. I can sympathize with them wanting to avoid the folk music. Actually, in North Carolina, gay marriage was already illegal. The new law, Amendment 1, goes much further and … [Read More...]
Giving People Nightmares
Some day, hopefully in my lifetime, someone can logically explain to me why people are afraid of two people who love each other. You can't keep busting out the "sanctity of heterosexual unions" when that puts you squarely in the Kim Kardashian camp. Which is like a prison camp for idiots with nice throw pillows. And you certainly can't bust out the Jesus card. He hung out with twelve sailors and a hooker and wisely kept His mouth … [Read More...]
Oooo, You Animal
There is a poet who calls himself "the sexy beast." I bring this up not to share his overwrought ramblings but to show you how much research I do each day before I serve up this blog. My robots bring me a summary of headlines and I whittle those into a theme and then I go and see if there is anything related to that theme to add in. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't. Then, and only then, do I actually start writing. … [Read More...]
